Today, Sahlen's Hot Dogs and Robert Redford Will Make My Day.

The morning my wife told me she was leaving was also my first day as a garbage man for the city of Peoria, Illinois.
Her announcement left me so distracted that, by the time I realized I had been throwing the garbage cans in the truck along with the garbage, my route was half over. That morning I crushed beyond recognition fully half the garbage bins in Peoria’s fashionable East View Heights neighborhood.
My supervisor was livid. But, when I explained why I was distracted, he didn’t fire me. He felt I didn’t need to lose my job and my wife in the same day.

Today, She Typed ONLY IN CAPS

He ate lunch in a food court across the street every day. The people around him were distracting until he paid attention to them. Then they were captivating.
It seemed to be the same crowd every day, but he wanted to be sure.
He assigned nicknames to everyone and wrote them down on a piece of paper. Each day, marks went next to their names indicating whether they were in attendance. The paper list soon became too big to manage so he made an excel sheet for his blackberry.
On the excel sheet, he abbreviated everyone’s nickname, partly to save space, party because “TNL” seemed like a nicer thing to call someone than “turkey neck lady”.